Cliff Jumping with Chronic Anxiety

{Maybe I should change the name of this publication to the above ⬆️} August Author Update

Chronic Anxiety is NOT Winning

Thank you, readers, for being here. I love interacting on Instagram but it is by its very nature a glossy app. And there are parts of my life that are decidedly NOT glossy. I am sure I’ll share about this more (on instagram) as we go forward, but today- telling you my story feels right.

I suffer from chronic anxiety. I have an overactive imagination and it loves to find worst case scenarios. I hate feeling embarrassed, or stupid, or dumb, or out of control. But the thing I hate the most is the amount of times I have let fear make a decision for me.

Three years ago, my Dad died. My Dad was sick for years (pancreatic cancer) but he didn’t die from cancer. He died from an infection after one of the many surgeries that he underwent. When he died there was no cancer in his body.

Losing a parent is awful. When you’ve struggled with anxiety and you face the thing you are terrified of (losing someone you love, and on many levels death itself)— and realize how little control you really have- it’s a recipe for a midlife crisis. At 31 years old.

I decided after horrible months that I was tired of having no life. Because a life that is filled with fear does not leave room for joy, or peace, or even confidence.

I looked around and saw the confident people I admired. I saw the way they went out and TRIED. I saw how they were successful, and every single one was joyful. (Yes there are successful people who are confident and not joyful but I don’t admire them.) And thus began my greatest project to date.

Anxiety is like a birdcage that slips over your heart. It has bars and a door. But the thing I discovered is that the door — it is NEVER locked. It is an illusion, a mirage. If you push on that door just a little, there is a whole world outside of the cage. I’m free to do things that anxiety balks at.

Three years ago I began purposefully doing something that made me anxious once a week. It was little at first - going through the car wash (yes, really), trying a new park with the kids, driving on the highway, and going blueberry picking with all four children (one who was just a baby in tow).

These little efforts compounded overtime. There will always be things that make me anxious. I’m scared of heights. Of rejection, of wasting my family’s resources to publish a book- but ultimately, I’m more scared of NOT trying.

This week, we were in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula for the Marquette Marathon (I ran the half) and while here we went to Black Rocks. Black Rocks are in fact cliffs that drop into Lake Superior, the water is very deep and very cold and yes, people jump.

This week- I willingly jumped off a cliff (safely!) It took an entire 58 seconds (I know because I have it on video)for me to shake the anxiety birdcage and just go.

Cliff Jumping off Black Rocks on Presque Isle, Michigan.

It was exhilarating. For a brief moment in time I physically shook off the birdcage and felt myself flying. Chronic anxiety isn’t winning anymore.

REACH

My debut novel is almost here!! The official blurb post is going to go up on socials sometime in September, but I wanted you to see it first!

REACH is currently undergoing my changes after returning from line edits, and is headed off to copy edits mid September.

ARCS will be heading out at the end of September with a release date of 11/1/2024. I’ll be making a Google form for ARC readers so I can keep track of everything. If you let me know you’d like an ARC and don’t hear from me by 9/30 please reach out! It’s my first time doing all this so please let me know if something slips through the cracks!

I can’t wait to share Reach’s story with you. But also I’m having all the scaries about sending it into the world.

How about- A ROMANCE SERIES?

Dystopian scifi is awesome but you know what else is? Fun, light, romance reads! These books are some of my favorite to read after a long day, on a roadtrip, or whenever I’ve had a new baby (which has happened rather frequently over the past 12 years).

This is why I am so excited to combine my favorite things in WEATHER or NOT — a four book closed door romance series featuring:

• a weather trope

• Michigan’s Upper Peninsula

• A summer, fall, winter, and spring setting (1 per book)

• Possibly an author pen-name (TBD) not because I want to hide my identity but because it’s helpful for readers when authors genre hop to have a different name for a different genre.

The plan for the Weather or Not series is a book release on season starting with the Summer story, summer 2025.

Thank you so much for being here! Putting my words out into the world is not easy for me, but your support keeps me going!

Olivia McCarthy